Hello! Just came back from celebrating Teacher's Day and going back to RGPS! :D Yay I ate some RGPS food. The canteen is so clean:D

I'm too lazy to type more, but I have no idea what else to do on the computer. MUGGING TIME:D

Goodbye. Oh yes, I shall update my links:D

OK I have already admit it - I made one stupid mistake and until now I still have no idea why I did it. But now I'm stuck here and it's hard to think.

I shall just... trust Jesus. YES! JESUS IS MY PROVISION! I shall continue praying:D And Jesus will solve this stupid shit of a mess for me:D

Today was quite slack. I made my Teacher's Day poster! But I think my cupcake plan is failing oh no...

Hello one and all! Emo season has passed! WHOO! TOMMY THE LAME COOL OMG SUPER COOL SNAIL IS BACK! OK updates on today's SAs.

Math: DIED. I AM VERY DEPRESSED ABOUT MY MATH ok. No, really. I don't know. I like math. But how come this happened?! I totally crapped my 5-mark question. Simultaneous Equations and I forgot how to do it. HOW STUPID CAN I GET?! I forgot what simultaneous equations are already... OMG I AM SO IDIOTIC. I HATE MYSELF. But I didn't have enough time to study math yesterday because I got sick on Saturday (ANOTHER IDIOTIC THING ABOUT MYSELF I HATE) and couldn't study. And then yesterday I was cramming geog. UGH! WHAT KIND OF A SHIT PERSON AM I?!

Geog: First question was data response and I didn't know how to answer so I didn't include details and figures!!!! AHH DIEDIEDIE But the second question was OK.

History: GOOD!:D

OK, what I'm thinking now is: I did my best, now I will let Jesus my Lord and Saviour DO THE REST!!!!! :D WHOO! I LOVE JESUS!

OK now I shall let Jesus fix my crisis and go slack! FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE THE ICE AGE I THINK. OK OK slack time! Oh yah!

Just now we went Taka and Kino with Nic and Yen Jee and Tracy and Wei Lin and Clarissa. And everybody except for Nic and Tracy and I got lost-.- I HAVE THE WHOLE TWILIGHT SERIES NOW EXCEPT FOR NEW MOON. So, in order to complete my series, I shall make my family go to Taka again on Sat and get New Moon:D WHY? Because actually I wanted to get the whole series OK! Then Clarissa and Nic kept saying that New Moon was boring-.- Granted, Edward the love of my life XD doesn't have many appearances but when he does... OMG SO SWEET! AND LOVELY! AND AHHH!!!! XD XP :D :)

OK SLACKING TIME OFFICIALLY BEGINS NOW!!! --PEEEEEPPPP:D--

An abyss-
where I'm in
Everywhere I turn I see
only black walls of desperation looming
at me
Why? Why
me? Why now? Why
am I so lazy I can't do it right?
I'm so stupid. I'm going
to fail everything
I want to die
I want to cry
I break down
mind and body
and - I'm all alone.

Where is my Jesus
I want to
jump off that beautiful
building
sparkling in the black hole
of my heart
where I trap
myself without will
I want to
die
die
die
die
die
I hate this
my life is
over.
Goodbye Yale
See ya Ivy League

my stupidity
can never measure
to anyone
I just
can't understand why I
can't do this

It's true
for everywhere every other place I look
it's desperation
the faint acrid smell of it
burning my tongue
burning me
burning my soul now
imprinting into my veins
flowing with my bloood
intoxicating with fire
my very body
and messin' with my mind
stops my heart
killsme
oh so fast
so quick
yes, that's it
and the job is done

but it's all a lie
for here i STILL am
struggling to
keep my self here
and not drown
suffocating
into my quicksand of desperation
and patheticness

Hello one and all!

I am here to declare my UNDYING LOVE for EDWARD CULLEN XD

Yes I finally finished New Moon! Now I can move on to the more exciting Eclipse. :D Yay Nic must bring tomorrow! :D EDWARD EDWARD EDWARD

PHELPS PHELPS PHELPS PHELPS PHELPS PHELPS PHELPS PHELPS PHELPS PHELPS PHELPS PHELPS PHELPS PHELPS PHELPS PHELPS PHELPS PHELPS PHELPS PHELPS he has made a world record 8 Olympic golds omg. I love Michael Phelps!!!!!:D YES GO USA! I LOVE US GO US!

NASTIA LIUKIN NASTIA LIUKIN NASTIA LIUKIN NASTIA LIUKIN NASTIA LIUKIN NASTIA LIUKIN NASTIA LIUKIN NASTIA LIUKIN NASTIA LIUKIN NASTIA LIUKIN NASTIA LIUKIN NASTIA LIUKIN is great:D

EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN EDWARD CULLEN is perfect. OK I realize I'm going a little crazy. Fine. Crazy then. :D whoo mood swings:D

It's over. All of it. I can feel that huge spasm opening up inside. I totally screwed up my exam today. I don't know how, or why. Scales were good. Very steady. Few mistakes. Same for my first piece. All was well. And then came my second piece, my steadiest piece. Or supposedly. It's my slowest song okay.

But somehow, at the end part of the second page of this Mozart, I crumbled. I don't know what happened. Granted, that part can be tricky cause I can forget the chords. But still. Yes that's what happened. I played one chord wrongly and screeched to a stop. It's no less horrible than it sounds. And this is grade 8. I want to just die. But I quickly glanced up, caught a hold of myself and carried on. The same thing almost happened later on. But this time I stopped only for the briefest fraction of a second so actually I don't think that counts. Third piece was good. I screwed up the end part. But I always did, mostly. It's fast, okay. Anyway I think so many sounds were overlapping each other the examiner couldn't hear the difference. At least I got my ending chords right. SLAM! :D

I thought the sight-reading was not too bad. But I was caught off guard when halfway through the short piece the key signature changed from Ab major to E major. I was like: OMG WHAT?! But I think it was okay. Aural was quite bad, as expected, or sort of. I think I got one chord named right. I said Supertonic. And the examiner asked me for the position. So I just guessed and said root. But for the chords naming I was like stumbling like: perfect er I mean Dominant and Tonic. -.-! But I think I got the gist of it. So then the describing the song was quite bad. She looked skeptical. But heck. I think it was actually a romantic piece but I said classical because everytime I said romantic last time I was wrong-.-! Anyway.

Don't think I'm so happy now from that cute little description of my hell of a day. The examiner was a nice British lady. She was fat though. Ah. I bet I'm fatter. Anyway, she's quite nice. But you never know. The evil that resides in all of us. I'm not saying she's evil. I'm actually prepared to embrace her for the nice lady she is. But I just don't want to fail. Correction: I can't. You may think that this is just piano but this is pretty big for me. I cannot fail. On top of that, I don't want to let down my piano teacher either. She's really nice and has coached me since I was 6. Not that there's any pressure but I just don't want to let her down. Yes. I had a nice little cry in the stupid taxi home. I don't know if the driver was freaked but oh well heck him.

I really, really can't fail. Really. I don't know what to do now. I need to find Jesus. I'm sure He won't let me down. He'll pass me like hell for sure. Hmm. That means I need to pray.

On another note: Nastia Liukin, American gymnast. Yes, I knew you could do it. And you just proved to the world today that American gymnasts trump the Chinese. Go America. I was rooting for US all along and I won't change ever! :) Nastia Liukin: OLYMPIC GOLD in the women's all-round. Yes! The Americans have showed the world that they are better, BETTER than the Chinese today! GO US!

And now look, just beyond my window is a nice tall block of flats. Nice and tall. Concrete. I wonder how long my jump would take before I can be absorbed away into the black viscousness of my despair. I can't take my exam again, do you understand? I just can't. My soul just shattered into a thousand pieces today. I don't know what to do. I shall seek out my Saviour.

Good night and good bye for ever.

Lalala I think all that stress has finally caught up with me. So here I am, not practising piano. Anyway, I feel bad about not going to CCA to practise piano. So I have decided to be the nice girl I am XD and go for CCA tomorrow and on Friday! But I better not fail my piano exam. Or I will never forget this anger, frustration and regret boiling at the very veins of my body...

OOH its almost 7 pm. You know what I think this just goes to show that I have horrible management skills, Not to mention insufficient time. I don't care, I shall just practise piano like crazy after cca tomorrow and die. Yes I shall die. Anyway you all want to see me die right! XD Just kidding:D

OK no la I really will die. But don't miss me too much, I'll handle it. Dying I mean. :p

goodBYE

Hello people! Yes I have finally appeared after a grueling near-to-5-hours practice session on my stupid Yamaha piano downstairs. Yes! I WAS stuck in the room downstairs for nearly 5 hours killing my fingers OK! Don't you doubt me! Hmph!

Now didn't you miss me? XD Of course you did! Because I rock! HAHA OK enough of the egoistic stance. Anyway, yes today I had my stupid SAs. OK I am going to fail Literature. I don't understand why. I like literature OK! But why do they have to do things so mechanically and turn the poem into a stupid mechanical robotic machine?! ARGH! MAYBE I'M JUST GETTING STUPID-ER LA. Since I have no idea what I just typed.

Anyway, OK I don't want to talk about exams anymore. They just depress me. YAY Nic lent me New Moon today! And it is supposed to be boring, according to her-.- But strangely, I'm addicted to it! Which just goes to show how strange Nic is XD Yay! But I couldn't go out with Nic, Hui Zhen, Yen Jee and Clarissa today because I had to rush home to practise for my stupid Grade 8 piano exam on Friday.

But YAY! THE FOUR LEAVES bakery at Lot 1 has reopened! Its renovated, in a new spot in the basement and has a wider collection of pastries! YAY! I ate 5 mini-pastries today for lunch. YUMMMMMM!!!!! :D And then I proceeded to die during piano. I practised for about 4 hours 45 minutes OK, but I'm actually still not done, because I still have to practise Appregios, Dominat 7th, Diminshed 7th and Minor Third for scales. But heck:D Yes and my back totally died from sitting on the piano bench for almost 5 hours without rest OK! But of course you have to count in dinnertime, rest-time and also, of course, banging-of-fingers-and-hands-ferociously-in-sheer-frustration-and-irritation-on-the-piano-keyboard-when-I-can't-get-my-C-song-right-no-matter-how-hard-I-bang-or-practise-time.

What?! It's seriously frustrating OK! I think I will go like uber slow during my exam. And pray like crazy. Anyway, so now it's officially time for me to rest! :D

OLYMPICS: OMG PHELPS!!!!! GO US! I SUPPORT US!!!! I TOTALLY SUPPORT US!!!!!!! GO PHELPS! GO NASTIA LIUKIN!!!!! :D OMG the US vs China Basketball match was so cool!!!!! GO US! YES GO US!!! :D Yes I love US! GO US! I shall support US till the very end XD
And Yao Ming kept falling down during the match while all the US players were so agile...-.-

Bye!
p.s. OMG I miss basketball. :( What the hell...
p.p.s. (This is of no relevance to the above)Some people are being very non-understanding and seriously irritating.

USA ROCKS OMG YAY YAY YAY I LOVE USA GO US!!!!

OK I am officially slacking. I am supposed to be chionging LIT PT!!! AHH!!!!! At least I've got my content covered.. sort of. Anyway, NASTIA LIUKIN USA WOMEN'S GYMNASTICS TEAM!!!!! YAY NASTIA LIUKIN!!!! XD She's a world champion OK! Yes I want her to win the Olympics! XD :D Yay later at 10 there's US vs China Basketball. GO US! OMG I TOTALLY SUPPORT US! Yes US BEAT CHINA! GO GO GO!!!!!

OK I love Nastia LiukinXD

OK shall now do LIT PT:D

OMG yes I finally finished my Lit PT!

See, what happened was I realized my reflections in my PT were too out of point. As in all I was talking about was some quotes in the stupid poem. So I had to redo it. And it was quite hard OK! I wasted my entire night last night not doing anything and freaking out and then this morning I was very distracted by my stupid PT so I finally decided to abandon my schedule and do my PT. I even abandoned piano OK! And my piano is at 3 :'( ahh I have to pass my Grade 8 IF NOT...

Anyway, now that I have successfully completed my Lit PT to the best of my ability, ITS OFFICIALLY MUGGING TiME!!! Sharks I have like a hundred million things to do and only like 3 seconds to do everything OK. I am so DEAD :O:O:O:O:O

Let's see: Homework, mugging for SAs, Piano, blablabla

OK I shall now bid farewell to this adorable little computer screen. Don't miss me too much! Wait, you'd better miss me now. For I may just never return! :O

Hi! YES I AM POSTING AGAIN XD

I am like super bored. Hmph. Shall start planning my mugging schedule tomorrow. OK so I had set dinner just now! It was very nice:D I wonder what I will have for breakfast tomorrow. :o I should stop thinking about food since I'm already so fat. I need to grow taller. Yep I shall pray for my poor height:D YAY! AND GOD WILL SOLVE EVERYTHING! SO I can grow to my 170 cm, and, subsequently, 175 cm :D

OK, I discovered that I like putting font sizes and colours into my posts! I am very bored. But I have finished most of my homework, which is good, because I met my goal today:p

Hm. OK I better work hard for piano. And I am going to memorize Aural notes after I get them from Mic. =D Oh, and my eyes are dying already. Like there are little pinpricks. :(

Hai. I LOVE JOE JONAS. NO I haven't forgotten my beautiful, hot Joe in the midst of all my repeated dying in History PT. I love When You Look Me In The Eyes XD His voice is so beautiful there.

OK I shall end here and add the colors:D

ADIOS!

OMG History PT is finally over! LIKE OMGOMGOMG YAY I AM SO HAPPY, its like I'm free now!!!!! But still got Lit PT and SAs and my piano exam. Sigh. My life is so miserable. I am so lonely;( AIYA WHATEVER LA.

Anyway stupid History PT. I slept at 2.30 AM Thursday night OK! OMG so late. Because my stupid printer couldn't print. Cos the margins of the page were too big. And it was already like 1 AM and I was seriously freaking out and going to cry already. Then my dad came down and helped me!!! YAY! XD

Anyway, then yesterday after practising piano, I helped my file give birth!!!! :O It only took like... 1.5 hours OK! I am such a brilliant doctor/gynaecologist or whatever you call it. Then after that I did my Chem worksheet. Then I watched abit of BBB. Then I decided I wanted to relax after dying repeatedly so many times in the past few days because of my stupid PT, but my sis was using the com and she refused to budge. So I couldn't rest. Did my stupid math worksheet - ROAR I can't figure out how to get the answer OK. All my answers are like negative or fractions/decimals.

But I just decided today that I don't care I need a break. Cos I was feeling so sian today after trying my stupid worksheet the entire night and then practising piano in the morning. OK so I only finished the pieces. And it was super brief but I DON'T CARE I SERIOUSLY NEED A BREAK OR I WILL JUST DIE. AND THEN I WON'T FEEL LIKE MUGGING ANYMORE AND THEN MY WHOLE FUTURE IS DEAD. So I chased my sister away from the commie and here I am!

:O:O:O This is the first post since so long that I'm actually bothering about enough to insert colours and sizes for the words. XD So what if the color combo sucks XD

OK I'm rambling. But this post is so long!!! :o OK, shall now proceed to relax for the rest of the morning. Then later piano from 1-3. Which means 12-4 if you count in commute (that's how it's spelled right?).

OK!! SAYONARA!