An abyss-
where I'm in
Everywhere I turn I see
only black walls of desperation looming
at me
Why? Why
me? Why now? Why
am I so lazy I can't do it right?
I'm so stupid. I'm going
to fail everything
I want to die
I want to cry
I break down
mind and body
and - I'm all alone.

Where is my Jesus
I want to
jump off that beautiful
building
sparkling in the black hole
of my heart
where I trap
myself without will
I want to
die
die
die
die
die
I hate this
my life is
over.
Goodbye Yale
See ya Ivy League

my stupidity
can never measure
to anyone
I just
can't understand why I
can't do this

It's true
for everywhere every other place I look
it's desperation
the faint acrid smell of it
burning my tongue
burning me
burning my soul now
imprinting into my veins
flowing with my bloood
intoxicating with fire
my very body
and messin' with my mind
stops my heart
killsme
oh so fast
so quick
yes, that's it
and the job is done

but it's all a lie
for here i STILL am
struggling to
keep my self here
and not drown
suffocating
into my quicksand of desperation
and patheticness